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Survivor Stories
My name is Jody and I can call myself a survivor because I came out of an abusive relationship that lasted 11 years. I got married when I was 18 years old to a man I thought I knew. Three months into the marriage I realized that I wasn’t in control of my life anymore. Each time I asked a question his temper would automatically change to an abusive personality and defensive behavior. I started to learn that I couldn’t ask questions of any kind because he would get defensive, authoritative, and most often physical. In December of 1999, following a fight with my husband, I tried to commit suicide because I though that without my husband I wouldn’t be able to survive with my kids and/or myself.
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I have so much enjoyed the past year or so of my life with my children
and with myself. I feel moments of true happiness again after going
through a long spell of feeling little or nothing. Gateway has had a
large hand in reviving my soul.
I have two children, a son age 20 and a daughter age 11. My
children were the ones that opened my eyes to myself, my life, and to
seeing how abuse pervades lives and generations. Four years ago at this
time my daughter and I were actually living in the Gateway Shelter. We
stayed there for 27 days and during that time the shelter was our home.
To this day, if we pass by the shelter my daughter may call out,
“There’s our house”. Ultimately, my son and daughter became my
motivation for seeing a life of peace-that they might enjoy the same.
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My association with Gateway began in the courthouse. They have this
wonderful program by which, when batterers are arrested, the victims
are subpoenaed to appear and there, in the courthouse, they meet with
victims’ advocates from Gateway and they are interviewed and told about
the services Gateway has to offer. My ex-husband was arrested on a
night in July and by the beginning of August my two children and I were
all in counseling at Gateway.
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My favorite Gateway memory is a connection that I established with a
woman who called the crisis line many Saturdays - really just wanting a
listening ear. I do not know, to this day, if she ever chose to leave
her batterer; but I was glad that she felt a connection and knew that
she had options no matter what her final decision became.
-Peggy Sanborn
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Survivor Stories
